First update in a year...

The summer proved to be fruitful at first.

I had two yard sales, each yielding about $200, and astonishingly left me with almost nothing in the "sell or give away" pile. After the second sale, it was hard to believe that the giant pile o' stuff that filled the corner of my basement was now gone.

Riding the momentum, I cleaned up and gave away my wet vac and sold the furniture in my guest room, except for the bed. Once my housemate leaves for good, the bed will go to Craigslist!

And....then it happened.

A relapse.

The emptiness of the basement, the realization that belongings that have been in my possession were now gone, the concert tees that I sold off as my first big step to letting go.... it all hit me, and hit me hard.

I found that I was unable to throw away the empty litter tubs....trash piled up in the basement. I started hoarding bills and paper again...and food that needed to have been discarded, remained. I started shopping for things I didn't really need. Surfaces became cluttered, hallways soon filled with bins and random items.

The house that was on the cusp of beautiful minimalism began to look like the beginning of a hoarder house in just a few months time.

It's now November, 2011. I began this weekend by taking out some of the trash and throwing away rotten food. Step 1 all over again.

Tomorrow I'll go through my closet and find clothing to donate to charity, and begin the slow process of culling once more. Proof positive that physical possessions are easy to make disappear-emotional baggage lingers much longer. The worse my depression grows, the harder it is to let go of physical belongings. Until I address the emotional side of what is preventing me from letting go, I will not be able to maintain a minimalist house, free of clutter.

First goal achieved

It's hard to believe....but I'm not even at the one year mark yet, and I've got my 50% reduction from where I started last year. Astonishingly enough....there's still room for improvement. Quite a bit actually.

Freecycle is now my mechanism of choice, and I'm averaging 1 to 3 objects on Freecycle per week. Basically, once a week--typically around the weekend--I go down to the basement pile, pull three items out, and put them on Freecycle.

That....and the ladies room at work....which seems to have some mysterious powder room table upon which unwanted household items disappear at a shockingly fast rate. I've moved a number of items that way each week.

Of my three bookcases, I now can fit everything on to one bookcase plus one shelf. The four giant milk crates full of essential papers is down to one....and I hope to cull it down even further. I can finally fit clothing into the closet...and the drawers can now close. Not easily...but they close! progress, not perfection.

My four boxes of gear? Just one and a half....and that half is going this month! Those dreaded duffel bags that I owned at least thirty? I'm at about 12.

I'm a bit of crossroads now---I'd like to get a new living room. If I get an entertainment unit, I could 'hide" a lot of the office items (now all in boxes, neatly organized) behind the doors and on the shelves, and that could eliminate the need for bookcases in my office entirely. My office would have only a small desk and chair. The downside to that of course, is that I don't want so many "personal" items in my living room, where snooping, curious guests and visitors could have access to college sketchbooks, diaries, etc.

I'm thinking I'll redecorate the office instead--but I can't decide if I should do it now and fit everything in....or work towards culling further...and get a much smaller storage unit. I've learned firsthand that if I buy a bigger shed...I'll fill it. Buy the bookshelf with 12 spots instead of the one with 8....and I'll fill it.

Either way, there's a lot more to go out the door. This past week, I moved out an entire box of artist materials. Next week: I've got two jewelry boxes, some "treasure" boxes, another bag of clothing and an entire box of books.

With January 2011 rapidly approaching, I'm really looking forward to starting the new year with a minimal house. I've got some big culls to do, and I've saved two of the hardest for last: electronics and high-end collectibles (Grandmother's Fiestaware!)

It's amazing to finally see the progress in the basement and in the various rooms--the living room and dining room are almost 100% complete. The kitchen is about 80%....the bedroom (if you don't count clothing) is 90% done. Closet? About 80% done. My office is around 70% and the basement is 50%. I'm starting to finally visualize the end results....and a one-bedroom apartment is no longer outside the realm of feasibility.

Slow but steady

Had a little bit of a lull for awhile....follow by a bit of slip. Bought some more snorkeling gear for an upcoming trip that probably wasn't all necessary. So to make up for it: I've going to have to sell or donate my old snorkel gear (don't need two sets of everything....I keep trying to justify keeping it by saying: If I want to go snorkeling with a friend and he or she doesn't have gear....then I can lend them mine...."

Or they can get their own.

So it needs to go. soon.

I freecycled another five items---a box of bags (a BIG step for me to get rid of duffel bags--I have tons of them. hard to part with!) Let go of portfolio cases, an organizer, a crab hook--nothing I really need or can't live without.

Brought a box of items to the fire station--it was a bit tough to see folks picking through it but I need to get over that. They don't really "get" what I'm doing, but then again, they always thought I was a bit "eccentric" so this just reinforces that, I suppose.

Definitely feel another big push coming on--I am almost at my halfway mark now.

Freecycle

I've heard about Freecycle for years now, but only now did I finally take the plunge and sign up. It was completely worth the effort--in 24 hours, I was able to find a home for the old hardware cabinet left behind by the construction crew.

Next, I'll list all of the items left behind after the yard sale--hopefully I can move out the remaining "half" that I didn't sell. I'm planning another sale, so after it's over, I'll have a "freecycle" hour in which freecyclers can come and take whatever they want! Then it's off to Goodwill or Salvation Army.

I've got the furniture listed on Craigslist--we'll see what that yields. My office and basement still feel terribly cluttered, so I've got a ways to go, but at least I can visibly see a "dent." It's such an ebb and flow--some weeks I'm in a great headspace to move everything out, and other weeks I just can't let go of anything. All the more reason to take advantage of the moment when it strikes. I don't miss a single thing from that yard sale!

Success at last!

The yard sale was a huge success....I'm still in disbelief.

I put everything outside, and was a bit surprised that as cramed full as it looked inside my house, all of my things on the lawn looked amazingly sparse. The flow of people was slow but steady, and I first had a touch of anxiety, watching people pick through my things. It felt strangely violating at first--a woman trying on my sunglasses...... a man picking through the bins.... I wanted to scream at first: "HEY! THOSE ARE MY THINGS! SHOW SOME RESPECT!"

Then it hit me. I have all this emotional attachment to this stuff--it's why it's been crammed in my house all this time--these folks have ZERO attachment to it. To them: it's just a pair of sunglasses. And that's exactly what they are: just a pair of sunglasses. Not a memory. Not a lost childhood. Not a crushed dream. My ex-wife gave me those sunglasses--and they were fun while I wore them. Now they just remind me of my painful divorce. I sold them for a dollar--it was incredibly liberating.

After the first two sales, I was on a roll. I priced the furniture too high, so I'll try again online to sell the big pieces, but I sold HALF of everything that I put outside. Entire BOXES of stuff--gone! I sold things that I swore I'd never get rid of ... and it's okay. In two months, I'll competely forget why it was so important that I keep them.

I sold all of my fire department memorabila--the figurines, the tins, the photo frames, model toys--all the crap that my ex-wife and her mother gave me--all gone. It depressed me to look at all that stuff--I still love the fire department, but I don't need to clutter up my house with fire department crap.

And best of all.... I made $155 off of the day's sales. I'm hoping to put that money towards a nice flat screen, assuming I can sell my TV and entertainment unit next. My new goal is move 100% of the unwanted items out by the end of June so that I can totally redecorate/furnish the living room...but nothing comes in until it all goes out!

It did start to rain....and I quickly packed up and pulled it all back into the house...so the childhood nightmare had a chance for me to play it out, and give it a positive ending. maybe that will stop that nightmare for good.

2 Days to go

The big flea market is Saturday.. just two days away. I'm completely flipping out in ways I never imagined. It fluctuates between wanting EVERYTHING to sell and be gone....horror and shame at all of the stuff I have accumulated.... and fear of not wanting to let it go.

I have so much stuff to sell that my yard is literally not going to be big enough. wow...and damn. wow. damn. that's a lotta stuff.

then the anxiety sets in. as a kid...and even now as an adult...I have these anxiety nightmares where I dream that all of my "stuff" is outside....and it begins to rain and a storm is rapidly approaching....and I have to race to bring everything inside before it gets ruined. there's a chance of thunderstorms on Saturday. So I may have to face that anxiety head on...and that terrifies me even more than letting go of the stuff.

The mound of yard sale items is so large....I can barely move in the living room now....the worst part will be bringing it back into the house. I wish I had another solution but I'm not ready to just give it all away yet. I'm going to make a pact with myself: take ALL offers...no matter how ridiculous. My reward to all of this....aside from a clutter free house....if I make any money....I'm going to put it towards a new minimalist living room.

I'm selling the sofa, leather recliner, entertainment unit and tv. yep. almost the whole damn living room. And it feels good.

here's wishing myself strength and luck..... I'll need both.

Riding the momentum

Big day for culling today!
I donated two bags of clothing to Goodwill Industries. Then I gave my area rug to a woman in need over in Essex--she was very appreciative!

My coffee maker was recalled by WalMart due to a fire hazard, so I wasted no time today--I brought it back. They gave me WalMart gift card...so I spent it on consumables--things I needed: laundry detergent, toothpaste, food....and a $5 pair of sunglasses since I can't seem to find mine.

I donated a railroad tie (big ol' piece of wood sitting in my backyard) to a guy looking for some... and I'm waiting to hear from the gal who might buy my backpack! All in all.... a good day to get rid of things! Two of my neighbors are doing a yard sale at the moment--wish I had known--I'd have put some stuff out. There's a big yard sale on the street in June, so no worries there.

Looks like I'm on a roll, so I hope to keep the momentum going as long as possible. The cats aren't happy about the storage unit disappearing--now they have no way to climb on top of the bookshelves but I'm sure they'll adjust.

In an hour, I'm going to go look at some studio and one bedroom apartments--my goal is to eventually be able to move into one. Have a long way to go!